The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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