Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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