So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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