If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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