He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
