i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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