You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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