Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
