So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
