Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
