did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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