my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
