i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
