If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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