Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
