My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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