no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
