Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
