"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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