Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
