So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
