i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
