You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
