Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
