So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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