Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
