Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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