I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
