just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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