My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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