I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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