susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
