Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my being single is dangerous.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
