I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
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