I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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