Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
