It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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