Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
