Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she pinky promised me she was 18
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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