I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
