That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
