Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
