why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
