The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
