Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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