We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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