What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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