My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
