Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
