He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
