He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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